I rewatched Transformers in the hope that, without the idiotic army-boys hooting in the theater at the use of awesome airplanes, I might actually enjoy it. And I did, for teeny tiny interludes, between running to the bathroom to vomit out the G.M.C. ads and U.S. Military recruitment propaganda that were being constantly jammed down my throat. At one point the U.S. Secretary of Defense says of some soldiers, “With these boys, losing’s not an option” O’rly? I think you forgot the second part: “…unless they’re in Iraq.” Or how about the awesome part when uber-hetero, assimilationist soldier guy tells boyish hero Sam Witwicky, “You’re a soldier now…”? Yeah, “…now that we’re running low on infantry in the Middle East.” Sure, the Transformers were a product from the get-go, I can accept that, but when I was a kid at least I wanted to actually have the things they were selling. Heavy machinery? Robots? Fuckin’ cool. But, like your fans have, it’s time to grow the fuck up already. In Michael Bay’s movie, they’re just lying to try to dazzle you into thinking exhausted American ideologies of capitalism and militarism that worked on infants are still the shit. Fail. If this is the future of movie-making, count me out.
# posted by Lintropy @ 1:48 PM
